I finished an intense memoir by a woman who has struggled with many of the same mental health issues I have faced over the last two decades. One key difference in our stories is that, while she faced rejection from her family, bullying by so-called friends, and came to suffer from eating disorders, self-injury, and drug abuse, I received a stream of constant support.

Even though our medical charts might show a similar chemical starting point, our stories ultimately followed two extremely different paths. I know the intensity of my own pain even with so many advantages, and her candid story reminded me that each person we encounter is struggling with something- and often hiding it quite well for a long, painful time.

Every day we witness people making bad choices or falling into destructive patterns, and we are tempted to say, “They should know better.”

While taking personal responsibility for our actions is essential, we also need to appreciate the circumstances and conditions that have led others to where they find themselves. While accountability is vital, it is naïve to think that we all are starting our lives in the same place with all of the same advantages.

I realize all too well that it is a challenge to continue to offer grace to people who repeatedly make negative choices and break our trust, but I am so thankful for the many people in my own history who chose to give me those second and third chances. I am also grateful that I believe in a God whose active, life-giving grace provides me the ability to start over when I fall short.

While thankful for the day-to-day stability in this season of my life, I hope I never become so settled or so stable or so secure that I forget what it was like to need another chance. People were willing to give them to me when I didn’t deserve them, and I know that I too need to be an agent committed to sharing that same grace.

Each day we all encounter someone we can influence or encourage- someone who stands in need of another chance.

A kind word, a caring hug, or a thoughtful compliment can be such a catalyst in a person’s life. I pray we can all look to be that influence– the provider of the second chance.

Send that text. Mail that card. Make that call.

Understanding just what the person is facing is not possible nor is it really the point– we must simply realize that we don’t have to withhold our love from people until they get it all figured out.

In fact, we come to appreciate that it is in the act of loving people and extending another chance that they often realize the courage to hang on for another day and to begin moving forward.

• I don’t have to fully understand to love you without condition.
• I don’t have to fully understand to serve you without selfish motives.
• I don’t have to fully understand to pray for better days to come.
• I don’t have to fully understand to make sure you get home safely.
• I don’t have to fully understand to sit up with you while you cry.
• I don’t have to fully understand to realize we are all in this together.
• I don’t have to fully understand to be willing to offer you a second chance.

Life is hard enough as it is, but it proves to be so much harder without support.

No one needs to face this life alone- especially when we each have the ability to make a difference.

May our eyes, ears, and hearts be open to opportunities; not to fix others, but to walk beside the hurting people in our lives and to extend to them the grace others have willingly given us. In seeking to lead with grace, we embrace the renewed life we have in Christ and are strengthened to share it with others.