spiritual growth

“It’s just so unfair!”

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

“We just want things to be fair for everybody.”

How many times have we heard a parent, teacher, coach, or politician express the idea that fairness in life is not only desirable, but an achievable goal in a given situation?

Certainly, if we are talking about people having an opportunity to succeed or a chance to follow their dreams, fairness may be an ideal to strive toward. Day to day, however, we quickly realize that challenges- some we actively cause and many we do not- impact access to opportunities and create an uneven path to fairness in many areas of life.

In the midst of our world’s clamor to be fair, Christians are called to be grace-filled, forgiving, and compassionate.

Often when those around us demanding things should “just be fair” are actually seeking advantage for themselves, but believers are reminded that success for the Christian is not defined in terms of worldly status but in faithfulness to Christ. As we live in a world focused on gaining more and promoting the fear driven by perceived scarcity, disciples are to live a life that is open-handed and gracious to all.

This attitude of grace is not formed from our natural inclinations or under the influence of our dominant culture. Grace toward others can only be truly extended by those who have experienced God’s grace in their own lives.

Believers know the world is not fair- and we should be extremely thankful for it.

Because of Christ’s gracious gift, we are relieved of the massive burden of our sin. The Person who was not responsible for the world’s brokenness comes to us in lovingkindness and takes our hurts and harm upon Himself. If life was fair, the Bible (and humanity itself) would end in Genesis 3 with the first sin, but because of God’s unfair grace, we are given another opportunity to start again. This scenario of sin, hurt, grace, and hope repeats across the millennia of Scripture as well as in our own lives each day.

We should not long for fairness from God- in the light of His perfection, who could honestly claim we want what we deserve?

It is so hard to admit mistakes and confess our inability to sort out our lives in our own strength.

As we feel that we are beginning to grow in grace, the frustrations of life seem to rise in response. God’s grace is abounding, but so often we limit our own ability to share in this abundance. Rather than freely sharing in the divine bounty that is available, we focus instead on defining the terms of grace and building borders around God’s intended blessings.

We often give the impression that if God’s grace gets out of control, the lack of boundaries will cheapen our own bond with Him.

Until we come to acknowledge and appreciate God’s grace toward us, we will continue to struggle to share His love to those who need it most.

Ultimately, I must resolve to let God be God and to accept both His love for me and to appreciate His grace toward others.

We are to be ambassadors for Christ and ministers of reconciliation rather than gatekeepers of grace.

The message of the gospel is that we receive God’s grace we could never earn rather than the wage of death that our sin deserves.

Through Christ, all people are offered the opportunity to share in the riches of grace- it is not fair, but it truly is good news.

Where are the people of God?

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

O LORD, we think we have it all figured out.

We are so certain that our ways are conformed to Your ways, and yet Scripture tells us that Your ways are higher- higher than this one moment, our frantic news cycle, our own all-absorbing ambitions and power grabs. We proclaim our oneness with You even as we reject and fear and refuse to love our neighbor- whichever neighbor we can be convinced to divide from and despise today.

God, help us.

When will we ever learn, Lord?

We prefer our labels to love.

We offer our political posturing rather than words of peace.

We choose noisy crowds over nuanced conversations.

We seize the win of an instant over the wisdom that can come only forth from seasons of reflection.

Lord, help us to recognize our faults and to appreciate our failures.

We are so limited, so small, so petty, so forgetful of the glory You offer in Christ.

And yet, we declare with the those of old, “we would see Jesus.”

Where is Jesus, Lord?
Where is Your visible presence among us?
Where are those called by Your name?
Where are the people of God in a world full of anger, bitterness, and self-seeking?

You answer again in the still, small voice of grace, and remind us that, “My people are right where they always have been…”

  • Proclaiming good news.
  • Speaking truth in compassion to the straying.
  • Declaring the truth in boldness to those bewitched by power.
  • Comforting the hurting, praying with the broken, and raising the oppressed.
  • Singing out hope in the darkness of despair.
  • Setting prisoners at liberty and lifting the burdens of the downcast.
  • Admitting shortcomings, acknowledging sins, and turning from wrongs.
  • Serving the poor, healing the sick, and sitting with sorrowing.
  • Fighting for change, cleaning up messes, and making amends.
  • Listening to struggling strangers on benches, on buses, and in bars.
  • Hearing the unspoken tensions that echo each night in hurting homes, broken communities, and lonely hearts.
  • Serving all those that go unserved.
  • Noticing those who others miss.
  • Loving all those that go unloved.
  • Pointing each soul to Jesus.

When it seems that all is lost, that every knee has gladly bowed in submission to the gods of this world, that all have compromised the glory of the eternal for the gratification of the momentary- remember the gates of death and hell have not prevailed.

They have not.

They will not.

They cannot.

Hold fast and take courage for He who promised is faithful.

Intentional Practices in Distraction

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

We often find ourselves in seasons of distraction.

While we may be moving rapidly through full, busy days, we find our actual focus dulled by the summer heat, numerous activities, major health challenges, or unending preparations for upcoming events.

Distraction becomes a subtle destroyer- we may still get everything done, but little is done well or enjoyed fully as we take on more and more.

Even if we recognize this problem, we often do not want to burden others with our challenges, and because of this social silence, we tend to think we are the only ones distressed by the busy pace. In our desire to avoid awkwardness, we actually create more opportunities for our distress to grow and potentially lead to lasting spiritual harm.

Unless we acknowledge the challenge, we cannot employ intentional practices to overcome the fatigue and frustration created by our distractions.

In distracted seasons, we need to recenter our lives with intentional prayer.

In overwhelming busyness, it is difficult to take time to truly pray. The idea of setting aside time to pray in the midst of an already hectic life seems counterintuitive.

“Why pray when I could be doing?” “Rather than a certain time, can’t I just pray as I move through my busy day?” “Isn’t spontaneous prayer really more heart-felt anyway?”

While we can pray at any time in any place, Scripture reveals that some spiritual victories come only in response to a disciplined life (Mt 17:19-21). It is Satan’s design to disconnect us from God, our Source of spiritual strength.

As the saying goes, if the devil cannot make us bad, he will make us busy.

When we move to pray, we are taking a step toward returning our relationship with God to the center of our lives.

It is in life’s most hectic times when we feel least like praying that we often most need to pray.

We keep track of the most important appointments/events in our lives. We mark down what we do not want to miss- doctors’ appointments, weddings, reunions, recitals, concerts, and ballgames. It is not that we would always forget, but that we want to be certain to prioritize the most important things and set that time apart. What could be more important than a daily appointment with the Lord that we prepare for and commit to keeping amid the busyness of life?

A set time of prayer need not be seen as a surrender to legalism, but simply a personal discipline that seeks to shape our busy days with more time purposefully spent with God.

Along with prayer, we need to reengage in intentional fellowship with others.

While a restored connection to God through prayer is essential, we also need the support of other believers as we seek to establish balance and boundaries in our lives.

As human beings, we are created for life in community- both socially and spiritually.

In times when our own fire is dimmed and dying out, we can draw warmth and light from the believers gathered around us. We may feel like we are the only ones struggling, but when we give voice to our fears, we find others too are overwhelmed by life’s hardships. Such honesty serves as a gateway to the strength that comes only when fellow disciples join together to listen, pray, and bear one another’s burdens.

In Christ, we have access to our Heavenly Father and the comfort of the Spirit throughout our lives- even in seasons of increased busyness and distraction.

In the face of life’s distractions, we can choose to embrace the practices of intentional prayer and active fellowship in order to refocus on God and draw strength from the enduring bond we share in Christ.

Battling Bird Vision

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Our house resounded with a peculiar thud throughout the day.

The newly-resident bluebirds had begun to announce their presence by repeatedly slamming into our large glass windows.

While millions of birds die each year in the United States by accidentally flying into high-rise buildings, the springtime phenomena we experienced is more complex- the vigilant bird sees its own reflection in the glass, perceives its image to be a rival, and attempts to drive away the interloper- all the while, the bird is actually attacking its own mirrored self.

While birds do not have the ability to tell a genuine enemy from their own reflection, people are often guilty of similar confusion.

When we cannot see ourselves truly, we tend to respond with aggression toward any and all perceived threats- never realizing that our perception, rather than reality, is often the actual adversary.

Such a distorted mindset creates a spiritual haze over our lives. What do we miss when we embrace this limited, bird-like-blindness approach to life?

One great danger to our vision is forgetting that our identity is to flow from who we are in Christ. In Jesus, our identity is more fully realized by seeking to live out the faith we claim. Scripture notes that to look into God’s Word for wisdom and then to immediately return unchanged to our old lives makes us like a man who looks in a mirror, turns away, and immediately forgets his appearance (James 1). Instead, we are to look at Christ and then look inward adapting our lives to His image. As disciples, we must die to self-focus and allow a faithful reflection of Christ to be seen in us (Gal 2:20).

Beyond a spiritual identity crisis, we can also find ourselves moving through our days without a clear purpose. Drawing on the imagery of ancient Greek sports, Paul speaks of the danger of not having a goal as we go through life (1 Cor 9). Like an undisciplined athlete, the believer who does not align his life with the ultimate goal of growing in Christ will fail to develop either spiritual strength or skill- like an ineffective boxer jabbing wildly into the air.

Adding more activity is no guarantee of progress, yet intentionally growing in focused disciplines can us help to clarify our goals, prevent wasted energy, and move forward.

Once we recognize ourselves and our goals, we must avoid the mistake of failing to finish strong.

In his last letter, Paul signs off with words that draw a contrast between Demas and Mark. Paul’s former coworker Demas has forsaken him while Mark, who Paul initially doubted, has proven himself a valuable minister (2 Tim 4).

Paul notes his own calling, and the fact he has been faithful to the end. If not focused on finishing well, we risk leaving a life of faithfulness behind to chase the distractions of the present world.

Far too often when encountered with life’s busy seasons, our hearts begin to drift.

Not recognizing this tendency in ourselves, we can end up disoriented and step away from our solid grounding in Christ.

Ultimately, the downfall of our backyard bluebirds results from a terrible illusion- they fear an outward enemy when the real danger is the self-inflicted harm arising from their aggressive, disoriented state.

Sadly, this distorted experience often marks the lives of believers- we fear persecution when our own distractions and disillusionment are almost always greater dangers.

May God grant us the grace to see ourselves clearly, to focus our faith, and to claim the reality of our connection to Christ as the basis of our hope.

Come aside and rest awhile…

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

On reaching another birthday, I am realizing my physical resilience is not what it was years ago. Two decades ago, as a young minister, I could get up early, stay up late, and do a lot in between with seemingly little physical cost. While we often experience decreasing physical energy as we age, spiritual fatigue is a more subtle danger facing us in our constantly overscheduled world.

We live in an age of constant rush. Advances in technology have made daily tasks easier/faster, but rather than taking more time to rest and engage with friends and family, we have allowed cultural pressures to convince us to add even more busyness to our lives.

There never seem to be enough hours in the day or days in the week to accomplish all of our plans. We constantly bemoan our lack of time, but in reality, we are often choosing to take on more than is healthy for us- both physically and spiritually.

Those walking through addiction recovery understand that the danger of relapse dramatically increases during times of stress- hunger, loneliness, fatigue, shifting schedules, or relationship crises. Just as acute stress can pose dangers, potential pitfalls abound when we continually chase the idol of busyness.

In our constant pressing forward, we invite damage to our health, our relationships, and ultimately, our connection with God.

Blinded by busyness, we often refuse to heed the warning signs of overwork and overstimulation.

If we do not intentionally seek rest, we will unintentionally break down under the constant strain of our schedules.

This truth is not only a pillar of contemporary self-help books, the importance of rest is a principle deeply rooted in Scripture.

While murder and adultery are condemned in the Ten Commandments, weekly rest is commanded (Exodus 20:8-11). This detailed idea of Sabbath as a day of rest looks far different than most of the weekend rituals we practice today.

On the very day God’s Old Testament people were told to abstain from all work, modern believers often attempt to frantically jam more activity into the end of our week.

On Sunday when the New Testament saints gathered for longer periods worship (Acts 20:7), we often rush through our worship (or skip it entirely) in order to pack in baby showers, bridal teas, ball practices, family visits, grocery shopping, and preparations for the upcoming week.

The concept of the “Sunday scaries,” the idea that the anticipation of the coming week’s overwhelming busyness invades our day of rest and overwhelms our peace of mind, is a reality for many today.

Surrounded by our culture of hustle, we each must find ways to rest- even as we live in the midst of such external busyness. This need for grounding calm in a chaotic world is nothing new for believers.

In the midst of trauma and unrest, David strengthened himself in God (1 Sam 23:16). In the midst of persecution and physical danger, God provided sleep and food for Elijah (1 Kgs 19:4-7).

In the gospels, Jesus withdrew and prayed alone with His Father- both as a regular practice (Lk 5:16) and at especially critical moments (Lk 6:12-13). In the midst of a period of exceedingly fruitful ministry that proved overwhelming to the disciples, Jesus invited them to pull back, regroup, and rest (Mk 6:31).

If Moses, David, Elijah, Peter, and even Jesus needed times of rest and renewal, we are foolish to think we can just keep running at full speed without disastrous consequences.

Mature believers must come to recognize the self-deception we embrace whenever we trust our own strength and proceed to pile on more and more busyness wearing ourselves thin with constant activity.

Whenever human ability alone is trusted as the source of spiritual strength, failure is certain.

We must be willing to set our minds on the things of the Spirit (Rom 8:6), and then intentionally seek the rest and renewal that can only come through time spent in God’s presence.

Why Memorials Still Matter

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As Memorial Day arrives this weekend, we remember the sacrifices made by those who have given their lives in service to our country.

Different than Veterans Day or the Fourth of July, Memorial Day is intentionally set aside as a day to remember those who “gave the last full measure of devotion” to uphold our freedoms.

It is ironic that a day intended to provide a national pause for reflection is often seen by many as the kickoff to the increased busyness of the summer season.

While not the first society to set aside times of remembrance, we are living in a time and culture which deeply needs memorial pauses in the midst of our hectic lives.

Scripture is full of memorials and monuments that were recognized and celebrated by God’s people. These holidays/places were established both so that the people could remember the great moments in their shared history and so they could use those memories as a means to teach the next generation.

Scripture speaks about both times for remembrance (Passover; Purim) as well as special places dedicated as memorials. Abraham’s one land purchase in Canaan was a dedicated burial ground. In later centuries, the tabernacle/temple centered the holidays and sacrifices around a visible reminder of God’s presence. While these holy places were expensively furnished and elaborately decorated, most memorials lacked any such finery- their value was tied to an event in the people’s collective memory.

In Joshua 4, God’s people piled up rocks at the Jordan River as they crossed over on dry land. One set of stones was placed in the midst of the riverbed and another on the shore where the people camped after crossing over. Each memorial contained a symbolic number of stones (12) and was given with the specific purpose of providing a prompt for witnesses as they recounted the miracle to their children.

In a land full of finely-carved idols, these rough stones served to remind the people that their own craftsmanship and skill could provide nothing to compare with the power of the one true God. The stones were to offer an answer from the past to the future question, “what do these stones mean to you?”

In the coming years, the older generation could point at the stones and say, “I will never forget that day- the river was at flood stage and far beyond its banks, but as the priests stepped forward, the LORD stacked up the waters in a heap, and the whole nation, thousands upon thousands of us, walked across on dry land just as our parents had crossed the Red Sea. When we moved forward, the LORD opened the way for us. And, at His word, we gathered up and placed these stones so that we might never, ever forget our deliverance.”

It would be wonderful to say the people of God always took the time to remember and reflect on God’s provision and power, but sadly, neither the Old Testament believers or New Testament saints perfected the ability to keep such memories fresh in their minds.

In each generation, as people forgot the past or commercialized the faith, new voices (such as Elijah, Josiah, John the Baptist) were needed to remind God’s people of the past in order to equip them for the present and prepare them for the future.

We are no different.

In a world that always seems to be moving faster, we need to take the time to pause and to remember.

As God’s people, we need the reminders of past blessing and the strength such memories provide to build up hope in the present.

As we reflect on those who sacrificed for our country in the coming days, may we remember and give thanks. May we likewise remember the blessings experienced in the life of faith, and seek to faithfully pass this legacy forward to the next generation.

Blessings of Life Together

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“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

Being called to live in community is one of the great invitations of the Christian faith, yet living in community also produces some of the most challenging aspects of the Christian life.

Whether we like it or not, life in community is not an add-on feature to our already-complete, neatly-packaged personal holiness- the gospel does not call us to a life of spiritual individualism and social isolation, but to a communal pilgrimage through our collective brokenness and the messiness of shared experience.

Christianity is not a solitary religion- we are called to walk this life of faith together.

I believe one of the blessings of this community relationship we are called to share is that believers are entrusted with a common vocabulary. Words that seem idealistic or even corny in the “real world” hold deep and abiding significance for those seeking to faithfully follow Jesus.

Joy, mercy, sacrifice, and commitment can be experienced by all people, but the believer recognizes God as the source of these and seemingly countless other virtues.

Broader society may acknowledge grace, compassion, and love, but the disciple of Jesus knows more than the intellectual definition of these words- he or she knows the One who personifies of these concepts as the divine Source of everything good, right, and true.

In addition to giving us an experienced terminology for understanding of the virtues found in God, the Christian community provides us with a unique bond of fellowship.

Wherever Christians go in the world, they already have a spiritual family awaiting them.

Anywhere we find disciples of Jesus, we have the ability to share an immediate intimacy that serves as a comfort and blessing. Whether we come together on the mission field, in the chapel of the local funeral home, at our children’s summer camp, or in a passing incident of daily life, Christians have a bond that is able- when faithfully applied- to transcend the outward divisions of race, gender, economics, politics, or age. The ability to pray for each other, to comfort each other, and to worship together greatly shapes the Christian experience.

We are to be the gathering of the redeemed- existing across and above life’s many external barriers.

As the song states, we share, “a common love for each other, a common gift to the Savior, a common bond holding us to the Lord, a common strength when we’re weary, a common hope for tomorrow, a common joy in the truth of God’s word.”

As we consider the implications of the Christian experience, one of the foremost blessings that we share is a sense of a mutual destiny.

In a world where we are often lulled into the comfortable complacency of daily life, we are to remind each other that our ultimate reality and ultimate hope of victory are not tied exclusively to the here and now.

While neither ignoring nor excusing the ever-present need for greater compassion and justice in our troubled world, believers are called to look beyond today’s headlines to the glory that awaits us as children of God.

By looking toward our grace-fueled, glorified future, we are empowered to live faithfully as we seek to share Christ’s love today.

This certainty of the future should dictate how we live day by day- not with our heads in the clouds ignoring suffering and strife, but with our hands active in service seeking to share the glory we have already tasted in Jesus.

Our life together as disciples of Jesus is marked with manifold blessings- a common vocabulary, a shared fellowship, and a united hope of salvation that spans geography, time, and outward differences.

Through His grace, our Father offers these gifts to each of us if we have hearts willing to receive them.

Search Me, O God…

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In our all-too-frequent moments of national crisis, religious leaders often declare that God’s people need to pray BIG prayers.

Prayers that will change our nation. Prayers that will revive our churches. Prayers that will halt gun violence and cure racism. We are told again and again that these are just the type of big, broad, and bold prayers that will bring our sin-sick society back to God.

While there is nothing wrong with offering such prayers for our hurting world, I believe the prayer with the most potential for lasting change is to ask God to truly show us the more personal challenges and compromises that so often rise up within our hearts and displace Him from His rightful place in our lives.

In Psalm 139:23-24, the inspired writer offers the words, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (KJV)

This prayer is both expansive and intimate, both personal and daring. In praying these words, we are not asking God to change the world in a instant or to overwhelm our lives with more material abundance- we are instead taking the difficult, yet necessary, step toward a closer walk with God by openly confessing our own limitations and admitting our vulnerability and frailties before His perfect holiness.

It is important to note what is being asked in this two-verse prayer.

When we ask God to search the heart, we are asking for one of the most intimate and intense experiences possible. We know from Scripture that the human heart without God’s presence is “deceitful about all things…desperately wicked” (Jer 17:9). In a world where evil is attributed to various combinations of environment, heredity, chance, social issues, and bad choices, believers realize that there is a spiritual component to the darkness in our world. Such darkness is not only abstractly thriving “out there” in repeated tragedies like mass shootings, ongoing heartaches like the opioid crisis, and broken social systems that promote racial/class/religious divisions, but this spiritual darkness is also present to some degree within each person who inevitably does wrong and sinful things each day.

When Paul says, “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” he truly means all of us (Rom 3:23).

When we consider the words of Psalm 139, it is essential to observe whose heart we desire God to search and expose. When my neighbor hurts me, I want to know why. When my spouse is unkind, I can dream up all sorts of reasons for the behavior. When someone cuts me off in traffic, I want him to see the error of his ways, yet the psalmist’s prayer is not focused on the hearts or actions of others.

“Search me” is an invitation for God’s eye to be trained upon my own thoughts and motivations.

Unless I am willing to acknowledge God’s right as my Creator and Sustainer to search me and to reveal my own character, I miss out a vital tool in my spiritual growth. People often say “God knows my heart,” and while that is certainly true, we need to also ask God to reveal the secrets and subtleties of our own hearts to us.

Only with such God-centered discernment can we ever see ourselves truly.

We cannot know ourselves without the faithful presence and perspective of God. When we fail to see ourselves truly, we inevitably yield to compromise and self-centeredness.  We become indulgent of our own faults and embittered toward the failings of others. Our own hearts are incapable of maintaining an honest perspective without the refining presence of God. When we allow God to truly search us, see us, and reveal our true nature to us, we will receive clarity and insight that may be hard to hear, but will serve to mature our faith.

With God’s vision, we are empowered to both admit our errors and allow ourselves a greater measure of grace.

The greatest treasures in the life of faith can only be revealed when we allow our greatest hurts to be healed by God’s love. And such healing demands both the awareness of our wrongs and the admission of our need.

Unless we open ourselves willingly to God’s refining judgment, we miss out the growth and gains that can come only from the ever-flowing provision of His grace.

God does know our hearts, and He longs to reveal them to us as well.

When this revelation of our own reality occurs and is acknowledged, genuine humility is experienced and genuine healing can begin.

A Prayer in Changing Seasons

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

You, O Lord, are good and do good.

You have prepared every good gift we experience in this life.

You have guided, sustained, and filled our lives with good things from the beginning of all creation until now.

Without Your humility in coming to us, we could never know You- much less dare to appeal to You in prayer, and yet You instruct to ask, to seek, and to knock.

Through Jesus, You have promised the answer, the revelation, the open door, and so we continue to lift our voices in gratitude and praise and petition before You.

Father, hear the prayer we offer this day.

We stand, Lord, on the brink of yet another new season- another time of change.

By Your Word and through our own experiences, we know that nothing stands still in this life.

In each season, we lack any certainty in ourselves, yet we crave greater clarity and constancy than our physical senses can provide.

Give us, Bringer of the seasons, the ability to acknowledge and accept the cycles of change that always accompany the passage of time.

Free us from the bitterness of hurt and anger and grief, and instead let us raise up grace, peace, and joy in our hearts- even if we are called to build upon the foundation of the hardships we all face in this life.

Strengthen our hands to be quick to the work You have called us to in this season of our lives.

Lift our eyes to see the opportunities that are present now, and encourage us to redeem the time we have been given to make the most of the gifts You have placed before us in this moment.

Grant us the ability to see the beauty of budding trees, opening flowers, and singing birds.

Help us, even in our finite limitations, to see Your hand and presence in the daily unfolding of our lives.

May the springing forth of new life in creation signal the resurrection and renewal within us and hasten the passing away of resentment and anger from our hearts.

Let our harshness cease and glad songs return after the long, bitter darkness of winter.

Draw us together again into the fellowship of the community, and in drawing us together, allow us to be more and more comforted in Your embrace.

Bless us with the perspective that time alone can bring, and grant us the grace to offer patience and compassion to those in our lives whose understandings lead them to different perspectives, positions, and points of view.

Allow us this greater grace, accompanied by genuine desire, that we might long to extend Your grace to others.

Help us to love one another deeply, for from such love, we will seek to heal offenses, help our neighbors, and continue to hope in Your unfailing goodness.

Let the old bitterness born of self and selfishness die away, so that our hearts might be prepared for renewed life in this season of new beginnings.

Hear our prayer and heal our hearts that we might seek to serve in Your name.

Through Christ, the Eternal Unchanging One, we pray, amen.

Only one way?

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

When it comes to living out the grace of Christ toward others, all of us have certain challenges that we struggle to overcome. Some of us are high-tempered and prone to frustration while others are easily distracted and do not give those around us needed attention.

One of the specific issues I struggle with most is a critical spirit.

Without thinking, I tend to note mistakes of those around me and assign motives to these errors often based more on my own perceptions rather than the reality of the situation.

During the course of my day, I will hear comments in conversation or see posts online that that don’t align with my views or my values. I am often quick to correct, criticize, or mentally cancel a person’s viewpoint based on the fact I disagree with the opinion expressed. Even if the difference is a simply one of preference and devoid of any moral implications, I often still internally roll my eyes at the other person’s obvious mistake. Maybe you feel that same tension at times.

How could a seemingly reasonable person be so gullible to share that post?

Why would anyone enjoy that ridiculous show?

Who could see voting for that person as the best option?

The reality is that on many of life’s issues there is no single correct response.

Were high school experiences “the best years of my life” for all of us? Well, not for me personally, but that doesn’t mean those years weren’t the brightest for someone, and they should be able to reminisce without my disparaging comment.

Are “smaller churches always more friendly” in reality? Definitely not always- I have visited smaller congregations that were not overly warm while I have worshiped with several hundred folks when it seemed like I met each one and was invited by multiple families to eat or visit after services.

Are cities better than small towns? Perhaps you think so and could offer valid reasons, but maybe I just simply prefer the slower pace of rural life.

And on and on.

Is it necessary for me to always insert my snarky, judgmental comment on issues that truly are just matters of personal experience or private opinion?

It’s not.

Our world tells us we have the right to share our views openly on every subject, but possessing the right to speak up doesn’t mean it is always right (or helpful) to do so.

Our culture likes to provide us with a constant stream of clickbait headlines (“Top 10 American Cities for Couples with Small Dogs and a Limited Budget”) and cancel-ready drama (“He Said What!? Read It Here!), but we were never intended to constantly process so much random (and often unnecessary) information.

I believe this recent social development leads to a culture of false comparisons and cynicism. Such a barrage of stimulation and curated social media creates a false feeling of either superiority or inferiority that leads to our lashing out at others.

I need to do a better job of letting other people express their experiences without countering with my own- especially in matters that are simply differences in perspective. Our society is enraptured with outrage, and this intense and angry spirit surfaces on all sides of the political divide and across the religious and economic spectrums.

We hold our views because we value them, and we are free to express them- what we cannot do is demand conformity from others based on our own personal preferences.

I pray that I move more quickly to find common ground and to generously compliment others while at the same time being slow and thoughtful before I criticize. I pray that I realize that a critical spirit not only damages others, but it also hurts my own heart and my relationship with God. The more I move toward my way as the only way, the less likely I am to truly see the other person’s viewpoint, and more importantly, to see and to value the person who serves as the target of my unnecessary criticism as a person who bears the image of a loving, compassionate God who continues to be infinitely patient with me and my own shortcomings.

As a disciple of Jesus, I pray my tendency to criticize others will be overwhelmed by a greater desire to imitate His grace and compassion and to use my life to communicate His love to each person I encounter.