life lessons

“It’s just so unfair!”

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

“We just want things to be fair for everybody.”

How many times have we heard a parent, teacher, coach, or politician express the idea that fairness in life is not only desirable, but an achievable goal in a given situation?

Certainly, if we are talking about people having an opportunity to succeed or a chance to follow their dreams, fairness may be an ideal to strive toward. Day to day, however, we quickly realize that challenges- some we actively cause and many we do not- impact access to opportunities and create an uneven path to fairness in many areas of life.

In the midst of our world’s clamor to be fair, Christians are called to be grace-filled, forgiving, and compassionate.

Often when those around us demanding things should “just be fair” are actually seeking advantage for themselves, but believers are reminded that success for the Christian is not defined in terms of worldly status but in faithfulness to Christ. As we live in a world focused on gaining more and promoting the fear driven by perceived scarcity, disciples are to live a life that is open-handed and gracious to all.

This attitude of grace is not formed from our natural inclinations or under the influence of our dominant culture. Grace toward others can only be truly extended by those who have experienced God’s grace in their own lives.

Believers know the world is not fair- and we should be extremely thankful for it.

Because of Christ’s gracious gift, we are relieved of the massive burden of our sin. The Person who was not responsible for the world’s brokenness comes to us in lovingkindness and takes our hurts and harm upon Himself. If life was fair, the Bible (and humanity itself) would end in Genesis 3 with the first sin, but because of God’s unfair grace, we are given another opportunity to start again. This scenario of sin, hurt, grace, and hope repeats across the millennia of Scripture as well as in our own lives each day.

We should not long for fairness from God- in the light of His perfection, who could honestly claim we want what we deserve?

It is so hard to admit mistakes and confess our inability to sort out our lives in our own strength.

As we feel that we are beginning to grow in grace, the frustrations of life seem to rise in response. God’s grace is abounding, but so often we limit our own ability to share in this abundance. Rather than freely sharing in the divine bounty that is available, we focus instead on defining the terms of grace and building borders around God’s intended blessings.

We often give the impression that if God’s grace gets out of control, the lack of boundaries will cheapen our own bond with Him.

Until we come to acknowledge and appreciate God’s grace toward us, we will continue to struggle to share His love to those who need it most.

Ultimately, I must resolve to let God be God and to accept both His love for me and to appreciate His grace toward others.

We are to be ambassadors for Christ and ministers of reconciliation rather than gatekeepers of grace.

The message of the gospel is that we receive God’s grace we could never earn rather than the wage of death that our sin deserves.

Through Christ, all people are offered the opportunity to share in the riches of grace- it is not fair, but it truly is good news.

Where are the people of God?

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O LORD, we think we have it all figured out.

We are so certain that our ways are conformed to Your ways, and yet Scripture tells us that Your ways are higher- higher than this one moment, our frantic news cycle, our own all-absorbing ambitions and power grabs. We proclaim our oneness with You even as we reject and fear and refuse to love our neighbor- whichever neighbor we can be convinced to divide from and despise today.

God, help us.

When will we ever learn, Lord?

We prefer our labels to love.

We offer our political posturing rather than words of peace.

We choose noisy crowds over nuanced conversations.

We seize the win of an instant over the wisdom that can come only forth from seasons of reflection.

Lord, help us to recognize our faults and to appreciate our failures.

We are so limited, so small, so petty, so forgetful of the glory You offer in Christ.

And yet, we declare with the those of old, “we would see Jesus.”

Where is Jesus, Lord?
Where is Your visible presence among us?
Where are those called by Your name?
Where are the people of God in a world full of anger, bitterness, and self-seeking?

You answer again in the still, small voice of grace, and remind us that, “My people are right where they always have been…”

  • Proclaiming good news.
  • Speaking truth in compassion to the straying.
  • Declaring the truth in boldness to those bewitched by power.
  • Comforting the hurting, praying with the broken, and raising the oppressed.
  • Singing out hope in the darkness of despair.
  • Setting prisoners at liberty and lifting the burdens of the downcast.
  • Admitting shortcomings, acknowledging sins, and turning from wrongs.
  • Serving the poor, healing the sick, and sitting with sorrowing.
  • Fighting for change, cleaning up messes, and making amends.
  • Listening to struggling strangers on benches, on buses, and in bars.
  • Hearing the unspoken tensions that echo each night in hurting homes, broken communities, and lonely hearts.
  • Serving all those that go unserved.
  • Noticing those who others miss.
  • Loving all those that go unloved.
  • Pointing each soul to Jesus.

When it seems that all is lost, that every knee has gladly bowed in submission to the gods of this world, that all have compromised the glory of the eternal for the gratification of the momentary- remember the gates of death and hell have not prevailed.

They have not.

They will not.

They cannot.

Hold fast and take courage for He who promised is faithful.

Intentional Practices in Distraction

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We often find ourselves in seasons of distraction.

While we may be moving rapidly through full, busy days, we find our actual focus dulled by the summer heat, numerous activities, major health challenges, or unending preparations for upcoming events.

Distraction becomes a subtle destroyer- we may still get everything done, but little is done well or enjoyed fully as we take on more and more.

Even if we recognize this problem, we often do not want to burden others with our challenges, and because of this social silence, we tend to think we are the only ones distressed by the busy pace. In our desire to avoid awkwardness, we actually create more opportunities for our distress to grow and potentially lead to lasting spiritual harm.

Unless we acknowledge the challenge, we cannot employ intentional practices to overcome the fatigue and frustration created by our distractions.

In distracted seasons, we need to recenter our lives with intentional prayer.

In overwhelming busyness, it is difficult to take time to truly pray. The idea of setting aside time to pray in the midst of an already hectic life seems counterintuitive.

“Why pray when I could be doing?” “Rather than a certain time, can’t I just pray as I move through my busy day?” “Isn’t spontaneous prayer really more heart-felt anyway?”

While we can pray at any time in any place, Scripture reveals that some spiritual victories come only in response to a disciplined life (Mt 17:19-21). It is Satan’s design to disconnect us from God, our Source of spiritual strength.

As the saying goes, if the devil cannot make us bad, he will make us busy.

When we move to pray, we are taking a step toward returning our relationship with God to the center of our lives.

It is in life’s most hectic times when we feel least like praying that we often most need to pray.

We keep track of the most important appointments/events in our lives. We mark down what we do not want to miss- doctors’ appointments, weddings, reunions, recitals, concerts, and ballgames. It is not that we would always forget, but that we want to be certain to prioritize the most important things and set that time apart. What could be more important than a daily appointment with the Lord that we prepare for and commit to keeping amid the busyness of life?

A set time of prayer need not be seen as a surrender to legalism, but simply a personal discipline that seeks to shape our busy days with more time purposefully spent with God.

Along with prayer, we need to reengage in intentional fellowship with others.

While a restored connection to God through prayer is essential, we also need the support of other believers as we seek to establish balance and boundaries in our lives.

As human beings, we are created for life in community- both socially and spiritually.

In times when our own fire is dimmed and dying out, we can draw warmth and light from the believers gathered around us. We may feel like we are the only ones struggling, but when we give voice to our fears, we find others too are overwhelmed by life’s hardships. Such honesty serves as a gateway to the strength that comes only when fellow disciples join together to listen, pray, and bear one another’s burdens.

In Christ, we have access to our Heavenly Father and the comfort of the Spirit throughout our lives- even in seasons of increased busyness and distraction.

In the face of life’s distractions, we can choose to embrace the practices of intentional prayer and active fellowship in order to refocus on God and draw strength from the enduring bond we share in Christ.

Battling Bird Vision

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Our house resounded with a peculiar thud throughout the day.

The newly-resident bluebirds had begun to announce their presence by repeatedly slamming into our large glass windows.

While millions of birds die each year in the United States by accidentally flying into high-rise buildings, the springtime phenomena we experienced is more complex- the vigilant bird sees its own reflection in the glass, perceives its image to be a rival, and attempts to drive away the interloper- all the while, the bird is actually attacking its own mirrored self.

While birds do not have the ability to tell a genuine enemy from their own reflection, people are often guilty of similar confusion.

When we cannot see ourselves truly, we tend to respond with aggression toward any and all perceived threats- never realizing that our perception, rather than reality, is often the actual adversary.

Such a distorted mindset creates a spiritual haze over our lives. What do we miss when we embrace this limited, bird-like-blindness approach to life?

One great danger to our vision is forgetting that our identity is to flow from who we are in Christ. In Jesus, our identity is more fully realized by seeking to live out the faith we claim. Scripture notes that to look into God’s Word for wisdom and then to immediately return unchanged to our old lives makes us like a man who looks in a mirror, turns away, and immediately forgets his appearance (James 1). Instead, we are to look at Christ and then look inward adapting our lives to His image. As disciples, we must die to self-focus and allow a faithful reflection of Christ to be seen in us (Gal 2:20).

Beyond a spiritual identity crisis, we can also find ourselves moving through our days without a clear purpose. Drawing on the imagery of ancient Greek sports, Paul speaks of the danger of not having a goal as we go through life (1 Cor 9). Like an undisciplined athlete, the believer who does not align his life with the ultimate goal of growing in Christ will fail to develop either spiritual strength or skill- like an ineffective boxer jabbing wildly into the air.

Adding more activity is no guarantee of progress, yet intentionally growing in focused disciplines can us help to clarify our goals, prevent wasted energy, and move forward.

Once we recognize ourselves and our goals, we must avoid the mistake of failing to finish strong.

In his last letter, Paul signs off with words that draw a contrast between Demas and Mark. Paul’s former coworker Demas has forsaken him while Mark, who Paul initially doubted, has proven himself a valuable minister (2 Tim 4).

Paul notes his own calling, and the fact he has been faithful to the end. If not focused on finishing well, we risk leaving a life of faithfulness behind to chase the distractions of the present world.

Far too often when encountered with life’s busy seasons, our hearts begin to drift.

Not recognizing this tendency in ourselves, we can end up disoriented and step away from our solid grounding in Christ.

Ultimately, the downfall of our backyard bluebirds results from a terrible illusion- they fear an outward enemy when the real danger is the self-inflicted harm arising from their aggressive, disoriented state.

Sadly, this distorted experience often marks the lives of believers- we fear persecution when our own distractions and disillusionment are almost always greater dangers.

May God grant us the grace to see ourselves clearly, to focus our faith, and to claim the reality of our connection to Christ as the basis of our hope.

Come aside and rest awhile…

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On reaching another birthday, I am realizing my physical resilience is not what it was years ago. Two decades ago, as a young minister, I could get up early, stay up late, and do a lot in between with seemingly little physical cost. While we often experience decreasing physical energy as we age, spiritual fatigue is a more subtle danger facing us in our constantly overscheduled world.

We live in an age of constant rush. Advances in technology have made daily tasks easier/faster, but rather than taking more time to rest and engage with friends and family, we have allowed cultural pressures to convince us to add even more busyness to our lives.

There never seem to be enough hours in the day or days in the week to accomplish all of our plans. We constantly bemoan our lack of time, but in reality, we are often choosing to take on more than is healthy for us- both physically and spiritually.

Those walking through addiction recovery understand that the danger of relapse dramatically increases during times of stress- hunger, loneliness, fatigue, shifting schedules, or relationship crises. Just as acute stress can pose dangers, potential pitfalls abound when we continually chase the idol of busyness.

In our constant pressing forward, we invite damage to our health, our relationships, and ultimately, our connection with God.

Blinded by busyness, we often refuse to heed the warning signs of overwork and overstimulation.

If we do not intentionally seek rest, we will unintentionally break down under the constant strain of our schedules.

This truth is not only a pillar of contemporary self-help books, the importance of rest is a principle deeply rooted in Scripture.

While murder and adultery are condemned in the Ten Commandments, weekly rest is commanded (Exodus 20:8-11). This detailed idea of Sabbath as a day of rest looks far different than most of the weekend rituals we practice today.

On the very day God’s Old Testament people were told to abstain from all work, modern believers often attempt to frantically jam more activity into the end of our week.

On Sunday when the New Testament saints gathered for longer periods worship (Acts 20:7), we often rush through our worship (or skip it entirely) in order to pack in baby showers, bridal teas, ball practices, family visits, grocery shopping, and preparations for the upcoming week.

The concept of the “Sunday scaries,” the idea that the anticipation of the coming week’s overwhelming busyness invades our day of rest and overwhelms our peace of mind, is a reality for many today.

Surrounded by our culture of hustle, we each must find ways to rest- even as we live in the midst of such external busyness. This need for grounding calm in a chaotic world is nothing new for believers.

In the midst of trauma and unrest, David strengthened himself in God (1 Sam 23:16). In the midst of persecution and physical danger, God provided sleep and food for Elijah (1 Kgs 19:4-7).

In the gospels, Jesus withdrew and prayed alone with His Father- both as a regular practice (Lk 5:16) and at especially critical moments (Lk 6:12-13). In the midst of a period of exceedingly fruitful ministry that proved overwhelming to the disciples, Jesus invited them to pull back, regroup, and rest (Mk 6:31).

If Moses, David, Elijah, Peter, and even Jesus needed times of rest and renewal, we are foolish to think we can just keep running at full speed without disastrous consequences.

Mature believers must come to recognize the self-deception we embrace whenever we trust our own strength and proceed to pile on more and more busyness wearing ourselves thin with constant activity.

Whenever human ability alone is trusted as the source of spiritual strength, failure is certain.

We must be willing to set our minds on the things of the Spirit (Rom 8:6), and then intentionally seek the rest and renewal that can only come through time spent in God’s presence.

Why Memorials Still Matter

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As Memorial Day arrives this weekend, we remember the sacrifices made by those who have given their lives in service to our country.

Different than Veterans Day or the Fourth of July, Memorial Day is intentionally set aside as a day to remember those who “gave the last full measure of devotion” to uphold our freedoms.

It is ironic that a day intended to provide a national pause for reflection is often seen by many as the kickoff to the increased busyness of the summer season.

While not the first society to set aside times of remembrance, we are living in a time and culture which deeply needs memorial pauses in the midst of our hectic lives.

Scripture is full of memorials and monuments that were recognized and celebrated by God’s people. These holidays/places were established both so that the people could remember the great moments in their shared history and so they could use those memories as a means to teach the next generation.

Scripture speaks about both times for remembrance (Passover; Purim) as well as special places dedicated as memorials. Abraham’s one land purchase in Canaan was a dedicated burial ground. In later centuries, the tabernacle/temple centered the holidays and sacrifices around a visible reminder of God’s presence. While these holy places were expensively furnished and elaborately decorated, most memorials lacked any such finery- their value was tied to an event in the people’s collective memory.

In Joshua 4, God’s people piled up rocks at the Jordan River as they crossed over on dry land. One set of stones was placed in the midst of the riverbed and another on the shore where the people camped after crossing over. Each memorial contained a symbolic number of stones (12) and was given with the specific purpose of providing a prompt for witnesses as they recounted the miracle to their children.

In a land full of finely-carved idols, these rough stones served to remind the people that their own craftsmanship and skill could provide nothing to compare with the power of the one true God. The stones were to offer an answer from the past to the future question, “what do these stones mean to you?”

In the coming years, the older generation could point at the stones and say, “I will never forget that day- the river was at flood stage and far beyond its banks, but as the priests stepped forward, the LORD stacked up the waters in a heap, and the whole nation, thousands upon thousands of us, walked across on dry land just as our parents had crossed the Red Sea. When we moved forward, the LORD opened the way for us. And, at His word, we gathered up and placed these stones so that we might never, ever forget our deliverance.”

It would be wonderful to say the people of God always took the time to remember and reflect on God’s provision and power, but sadly, neither the Old Testament believers or New Testament saints perfected the ability to keep such memories fresh in their minds.

In each generation, as people forgot the past or commercialized the faith, new voices (such as Elijah, Josiah, John the Baptist) were needed to remind God’s people of the past in order to equip them for the present and prepare them for the future.

We are no different.

In a world that always seems to be moving faster, we need to take the time to pause and to remember.

As God’s people, we need the reminders of past blessing and the strength such memories provide to build up hope in the present.

As we reflect on those who sacrificed for our country in the coming days, may we remember and give thanks. May we likewise remember the blessings experienced in the life of faith, and seek to faithfully pass this legacy forward to the next generation.

The Impression We Leave Behind

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In recent weeks, two different musicians headlined stadium tours each promising three consecutive concerts held within a few hours of Weakley County.

The first tour took place in Oxford, MS featuring country star Morgan Wallen. The weekend ended on a sour note when Wallen failed to appear for the final concert. Despite an explanation offered by concert officials, fans who spent hundreds of dollars on tickets and travel expenses were disappointed by what they perceived as mismanagement by the artist and his team.

Two weeks later, pop sensation Taylor Swift performed in Nashville. The weekend ended on a high note after fans took shelter for hours during a thunderstorm delay, only to have Swift reemerge and perform her entire 3 ½ hour show in a driving rain for the 70,000 fans gathered at Nissan Stadium. Many concert goers remarked that the experience became even more memorable as the crowd joined together to sing the whole show despite the terrible weather conditions.

While these incidents concern fans and celebrity entertainers, we also leave an impression in each of life’s interactions.

We are not paid performers, but we are called to be intentional about the impact we leave with the people we encounter each day.

In the Sermon on the Mount (Mt 5-7), Jesus employs multiple images to talk about using our influence to draw others toward God.

In referencing light, Jesus declares that His followers are “the light of the world” (Mt 5:14).

We understand the attractive qualities of light. Physically and psychologically, we feel safer and more secure in a well-lit place. If we look into darkness, our eyes are immediately drawn to the points of light. A light in darkness even instinctually impacts insects and animals- whether a porch light or a full moon.

As believers, we are to point to God as the true light in Whom there is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5). We let our little lights shine to direct and draw people to Him as the source of light and life. Just as physical light is essential for our flourishing and thriving, sharing spiritual light is vital to faithfully following Jesus.

Jesus also paralleled the influence of a believer with being “the salt of the earth” (Mt 5:13).

Salt is a fascinating element in our world- needed in life, preserving in death, and impacting the flavor and nature of everything it touches. As any cook will tell you, even just “a pinch of salt” has a big impact on a dish. Salt is abundant, and yet precious. Until modern refrigeration, salting/curing was a primary method of preserving food. Through history, salt served as valuable currency and a staple of provisions.

It takes no culinary expertise to notice the absence of salt in a favorite meal, or conversely, the overuse of salt in our food. While salt is often a foundational ingredient, just a little bit makes a big difference.

The correlation of a Christ-like influence is apparent- even a small amount of love, grace, and compassion impacts the whole flavor of the lives it touches.

When we engage with others, do they feel warmed by the light and love of Christ or do they feel cold rejection at our indifference?

Do people taste the goodness of the Lord (Ps 34:8) in our words and actions, or do they leave our presence with a lingering bitter aftertaste from our scorn or judgment?

As has often been said, “People may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”  

We want the impression we leave to draw others closer to Christ.

Through our daily actions and attitudes, may we always strive to leave each person we encounter with a faithful impression of the Lord we claim to serve.

Making Our Mark

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We live in a culture full of symbols- road signs, yard flags, car decals, corporate logos, and electronic billboards. These symbols do not tell the whole story, but they serve to market products, draw our attention, or declare our loyalties to the passing world.

We understand that such markings have meaning, and while we do not always agree on the interpretation of a certain symbol, we recognize that these visible marks serve as powerful reminders and signals to those who we encounter each day.

In this graduation season, one oft-repeated piece of advice for those receiving degrees is to go out from the classroom to make a difference in the world. “Leave your mark” is considered a fitting encouragement as we enter a new phase of life.

All of us long for significance, and we long to believe we offer something of value to the world. Teachers, salespeople, ministers, parents, celebrities- everyone wants to make a mark that will matter and endure in our rapidly changing world. Our motivations (such as profit/prestige/power/compassion) may differ widely, but the desire to make an impact is a reality.

As believers, we are leaving an impression of the world each day. Words matter- the symbols we embrace and words we offer impact our family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers for good or ill.

It is wise then to appreciate the truth that the words and actions that mark our lives affect the impressions we leave on others.

In Scripture, we read about the marking of people by the use of descriptions or nicknames. In Acts 4, we meet Barnabas whose actual name was Joseph- an extremely common name. Barnabas (meaning “son of encouragement”) was the nickname he received because he was always using his wealth, words, and relationships to build others up.

Brothers James and John were called Boaneges (meaning “sons of thunder”) seemingly related to their intense (though at times misguided) passion for God’s justice (Mk 3:17; Lk 9:54).

Besides Simon Peter (Peter itself serves as a symbolic nickname- Mt 16:17-18), Jesus called another Simon to his inner circle, “Simon called the Zealot” (Lk 6:15). This Simon was known for a life marked by his nationalism (at least in his background before following Jesus).

Is my life more marked by sharing encouragement, living with passion, or debating my politics? I am I marked as one who looks to see the good in those around me or as a person who would call down fire on my opponents if given the opportunity?

Paul writes to the church at Rome about the importance of recognizing and marking those who only seek to cause division (Rom 16:17). Their divisive activities were known and reputations well-deserved. Faithful Christians were to avoid being drawn into endless debates with such people- mark them as troublemakers and unless genuine change occurs, avoid becoming entangled in constant strife with them.

Many of us don’t mind marking those we dislike or disagree with, but Paul reminds the Philippian Christians to also mark those who walk as faithful examples to follow (Phil 3:17). If a person is walking the journey of faith well, we are to note and imitate the godly aspects of such a life (1 Cor 11:1).

Day by day, we are each making our mark on the world- what will your mark be?

As believers, may we be more intentional in realizing that no matter what else we may be, our primary role is to offer a faithful example of a life truly marked by the presence of Jesus.

Blessings of Life Together

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“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

Being called to live in community is one of the great invitations of the Christian faith, yet living in community also produces some of the most challenging aspects of the Christian life.

Whether we like it or not, life in community is not an add-on feature to our already-complete, neatly-packaged personal holiness- the gospel does not call us to a life of spiritual individualism and social isolation, but to a communal pilgrimage through our collective brokenness and the messiness of shared experience.

Christianity is not a solitary religion- we are called to walk this life of faith together.

I believe one of the blessings of this community relationship we are called to share is that believers are entrusted with a common vocabulary. Words that seem idealistic or even corny in the “real world” hold deep and abiding significance for those seeking to faithfully follow Jesus.

Joy, mercy, sacrifice, and commitment can be experienced by all people, but the believer recognizes God as the source of these and seemingly countless other virtues.

Broader society may acknowledge grace, compassion, and love, but the disciple of Jesus knows more than the intellectual definition of these words- he or she knows the One who personifies of these concepts as the divine Source of everything good, right, and true.

In addition to giving us an experienced terminology for understanding of the virtues found in God, the Christian community provides us with a unique bond of fellowship.

Wherever Christians go in the world, they already have a spiritual family awaiting them.

Anywhere we find disciples of Jesus, we have the ability to share an immediate intimacy that serves as a comfort and blessing. Whether we come together on the mission field, in the chapel of the local funeral home, at our children’s summer camp, or in a passing incident of daily life, Christians have a bond that is able- when faithfully applied- to transcend the outward divisions of race, gender, economics, politics, or age. The ability to pray for each other, to comfort each other, and to worship together greatly shapes the Christian experience.

We are to be the gathering of the redeemed- existing across and above life’s many external barriers.

As the song states, we share, “a common love for each other, a common gift to the Savior, a common bond holding us to the Lord, a common strength when we’re weary, a common hope for tomorrow, a common joy in the truth of God’s word.”

As we consider the implications of the Christian experience, one of the foremost blessings that we share is a sense of a mutual destiny.

In a world where we are often lulled into the comfortable complacency of daily life, we are to remind each other that our ultimate reality and ultimate hope of victory are not tied exclusively to the here and now.

While neither ignoring nor excusing the ever-present need for greater compassion and justice in our troubled world, believers are called to look beyond today’s headlines to the glory that awaits us as children of God.

By looking toward our grace-fueled, glorified future, we are empowered to live faithfully as we seek to share Christ’s love today.

This certainty of the future should dictate how we live day by day- not with our heads in the clouds ignoring suffering and strife, but with our hands active in service seeking to share the glory we have already tasted in Jesus.

Our life together as disciples of Jesus is marked with manifold blessings- a common vocabulary, a shared fellowship, and a united hope of salvation that spans geography, time, and outward differences.

Through His grace, our Father offers these gifts to each of us if we have hearts willing to receive them.

People of the Second Chance

/ Will N. / 1 Comment

I finished an intense memoir by a woman who has struggled with many of the same mental health issues I have faced over the last two decades. One key difference in our stories is that, while she faced rejection from her family, bullying by so-called friends, and came to suffer from eating disorders, self-injury, and drug abuse, I received a stream of constant support.

Even though our medical charts might show a similar chemical starting point, our stories ultimately followed two extremely different paths. I know the intensity of my own pain even with so many advantages, and her candid story reminded me that each person we encounter is struggling with something- and often hiding it quite well for a long, painful time.

Every day we witness people making bad choices or falling into destructive patterns, and we are tempted to say, “They should know better.”

While taking personal responsibility for our actions is essential, we also need to appreciate the circumstances and conditions that have led others to where they find themselves. While accountability is vital, it is naïve to think that we all are starting our lives in the same place with all of the same advantages.

I realize all too well that it is a challenge to continue to offer grace to people who repeatedly make negative choices and break our trust, but I am so thankful for the many people in my own history who chose to give me those second and third chances. I am also grateful that I believe in a God whose active, life-giving grace provides me the ability to start over when I fall short.

While thankful for the day-to-day stability in this season of my life, I hope I never become so settled or so stable or so secure that I forget what it was like to need another chance. People were willing to give them to me when I didn’t deserve them, and I know that I too need to be an agent committed to sharing that same grace.

Each day we all encounter someone we can influence or encourage- someone who stands in need of another chance.

A kind word, a caring hug, or a thoughtful compliment can be such a catalyst in a person’s life. I pray we can all look to be that influence– the provider of the second chance.

Send that text. Mail that card. Make that call.

Understanding just what the person is facing is not possible nor is it really the point– we must simply realize that we don’t have to withhold our love from people until they get it all figured out.

In fact, we come to appreciate that it is in the act of loving people and extending another chance that they often realize the courage to hang on for another day and to begin moving forward.

  • I don’t have to fully understand to love you without condition.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to serve you without selfish motives.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to pray for better days to come.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to make sure you get home safely.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to sit up with you while you cry.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to realize we are all in this together.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to be willing to offer you a second chance.

Life is hard enough as it is, but it proves to be so much harder without support.

No one needs to face this life alone- especially when we each have the ability to make a difference.

May our eyes, ears, and hearts be open to opportunities; not to fix others, but to walk beside the hurting people in our lives and to extend to them the grace others have willingly given us. In seeking to lead with grace, we embrace the renewed life we have in Christ and are strengthened to share it with others.