“I’m fine.”
It’s likely we have received or offered this generic line many times when responding to the classic question, “How are you?” Many of us spend a great deal of time and energy seeking to be (or at least appear) self-sufficient in the eyes of those around us. The reason for this attitude differs- pride at our own ability to handle things, a genuine desire to not worry others, or even our unawareness of our own needs.
One of our greatest desires as human beings is to be able to share experiences and to relate to those around us. We have witnessed this when small children go off to school, when we travel abroad, or when seniors move into a new retirement community. In the midst of new and potentially overwhelming situations, we long to find a person with who we can relate to and share our discomfort. One true friend, a helpful local who speaks our language, or a friendly face to welcome us serve as blessings that give us the strength to keep going in tough moments.
On the other hand, one of our great fears lies in the idea that if people really knew us, they would not love us, care for us, or help us. This mindset can have long and lasting negative results. Such an attitude can cause us to avoid engaging with others to seem strong and competent. Sometimes the impact is relatively small like when we refuse to ask for help in a store or resist asking for directions in driving- we may be delayed and frustrated, but we are more inconvenienced than hurt. Other situations, like denying help for addiction or struggling alone with anxiety or depression, can have life-changing impact if we are not able to overcome fear and to receive the support we need.
To be human is to be made of dust and to be made of dust is to be vulnerable, and yet many of us spend a great deal of time and effort seeking to convince those around us we are fine just as we are and do not need help from anyone.
In our relationship with God, we do not have to fear being known. He already knows us fully, and He loves us completely. He appreciates all that we are and all that we try to be, and He also sees the darkness that many of us seek to avoid dealing with by pushing it deeper to the corners of our lives.
We constantly strive to build up our own defenses even as our loving Father offers not stronger defenses against our worst impulses but divinely-empowered deliverance from them.
One attribute God possesses that we do not is the ability to know the entirety of a situation. As people, we may downplay, mislead, or intentionally lie about when we are struggling and dealing with conflict and trials, but there is no hiding the needs of our hearts from God. He already knows, and He welcomes us, broken as we all are, to come to Him.
We all long to be more fully known and yet we fear that if we are completely honest, we will not be loved.
Thankfully, God’s love is not based on our perfection, but in His nature.
The great blessing comes when we cease to struggle against this love, and rather gratefully accept it and live our lives out of its reality. In Christ, we are called to not only accept His gracious love for us but to receive it gladly then to turn and extend it to others.
Accepting this loving reality of relationship forever alters our answer to the question, “How are you?”
“I am loved.”
will norrid writes 