discipleship

“For What Is Your Life?”

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

In speaking of the brevity of life, James 4:14 offers this insight,

“For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.”

Few of us who have lived long in this life would deny this truth.

One day we are nervous about our first day of school and the next we are watching our own grandchildren walk across the stage at their graduations.

Despite knowing that even the longest life is brief, we often live an unexamined life under the impression that we will have more time.

While we cannot know the exact length of our days or the challenges they will bring, we can and should choose the mindset we embrace as we move through our lives.

When looking at the issues facing our world, some will choose to live a constantly critical life.

There is certainly much wrong in our world- destructive weather and tragic accidents, crime and violence, corruption and injustice, disease and spiritual darkness.

All of us who are paying attention see these challenges and these hardships, but we consider the many bad situations side-by-side with the good that exists around us.

The one who chooses the critical life ends up actually wanting to be cynical and bitter so the truth of his own judgment proves true- and he comes to discount any aspect of reality that would prove there is good left and hope alive.

To paraphrase the folk song, this person sees what he wants to see and disregards the rest.

Such a critical life not formed in a moment, but by many small negatives that compound over time.

Not everyone will choose this cynical criticism, but many of us will choose to lead highly compartmentalized lives.

In order survive in an often harsh world, we divide our larger lives into smaller sections and parts that, at least in theory, can be managed more easily.

We may have “work life,” “family life,” “school life,” “church life,” and so on. We come to think we can keep these areas of life from overlapping too much, and we approach each day with the idea of divide and conquer.

We often come to realize that while this compartmentalization may be efficient for a season, it becomes an unfulfilling and often conflicted way to live.

We may do a lot, but nothing is done fully or well.

If our compartments conflict, we end up living with more self-created tension and anxiety.

Amid those who are critical of others or so compartmentalized that they struggle to be genuine, there are those who will choose a committed, Christ-centered life.

Both the commitment and the focus on Christ are vital to those who take this path.

On the surface, a committed life of any kind may sound positive, but it is only better if our guiding commitments are set upon the right things.

Being Christ-centered is essential, but we must be centered in Him and committed to Jesus over the course of time- not just in the excited enthusiasm that often accompanies conversion.

To be both committed and Christ-centered will form the lasting components that shape a faithful life.

Life is brief, and yet the life we choose shapes not only our own souls but impacts the many lives that intersect our own.

We cannot know what will befall us or how soon our vapor will vanish, but we can commit and center our days in the One who not only knows our paths but values our lives far more than we can ever fully understand.

Distractions I Love

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

If you use social media, you have likely seen several different versions of this type of article.
My hope is it will serve as a reminder to all of us and a simple encouragement to share with young parents who may need it this week.

Once again, you are sitting in worship, and your child is restless.

Perhaps even moving around and getting noisy. You try to calm them down, and things only seem to get louder. You try to pacify them with a small snack, toy, or whispered encouragement, and nothing works. You wrestle with them, and debate whether to wait out the moment or take them outside.

You feel like you are distraction either way.

All the while, you are a little embarrassed, and maybe a little frustrated too. You look around and seem like the only one fighting this fight. You might even think to yourself, “There’s not much point in coming to worship. I can’t focus on the service because I am constantly caring for my kid(s), and I know we are distracting others. What’s the use?”

I humbly suggest you take another look around.

The widow over there quietly gives thanks at the sight of you wrestling with your little one. She was once where you are once, and she knows how hard it can be. Oh, she remembers, but she smiles because to hear small children and see young parents here brightens her day. She received some discouraging test results this week, but even without that recent blow, time tells her that her race of faith is nearing its end. Overhearing the loudly-whispered questions of your little one takes her back to her own youth, her friends, and their families, all gone now, who once shared this sacred space.

That older man who always seems to be a bit grouchy sees you too. He’s always going on about how young people these days have no respect or sense of respect. The world is bad and getting worse is the message repeated each night on the news, but he sees your young family in worship each week, and he can tell how hard you work to be there. He knows something about hard work and hard times. Whether or not he can admit it, seeing (and hearing) your noisy kids gives him a little hope that maybe world isn’t doomed after all. No one would call him an expert on church trends, but even he knows it would be far easier to stay home or head to the lake or the ballpark after a hard week.

The preacher who may look tired and frustrated is not wearied by your presence but because he spent his Saturday night sitting up with a sick church member at the hospital, sharing an infrequent evening with just his own family, or waking early a few hours ago to pray for God to bless today’s lesson. His fatigue is not from your kids- in fact, their presence is a treasured reminder that God is still working in this place.

Keep on bringing your children to worship. As hard as it might be at times when half-asleep and worn down from the week, keep that connection strong. You are an encouragement to so many, and you are placing your children upon a strong foundation.

Whatever we make time for in life is seen as a default priority.

If we set the priority of attending worship as a family when our kids are small, it is far more likely to be second nature for our children as they grow older, make their own choices, and face even more distractions.

For the rest of us, young parents and their kids who are making the effort to be present should never be seen as distractions.

Their commitment is essential- not only to the future but to the present life and impact of every church family.

“It’s just so unfair!”

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“We just want things to be fair for everybody.”

How many times have we heard a parent, teacher, coach, or politician express the idea that fairness in life is not only desirable, but an achievable goal in a given situation?

Certainly, if we are talking about people having an opportunity to succeed or a chance to follow their dreams, fairness may be an ideal to strive toward. Day to day, however, we quickly realize that challenges- some we actively cause and many we do not- impact access to opportunities and create an uneven path to fairness in many areas of life.

In the midst of our world’s clamor to be fair, Christians are called to be grace-filled, forgiving, and compassionate.

Often when those around us demanding things should “just be fair” are actually seeking advantage for themselves, but believers are reminded that success for the Christian is not defined in terms of worldly status but in faithfulness to Christ. As we live in a world focused on gaining more and promoting the fear driven by perceived scarcity, disciples are to live a life that is open-handed and gracious to all.

This attitude of grace is not formed from our natural inclinations or under the influence of our dominant culture. Grace toward others can only be truly extended by those who have experienced God’s grace in their own lives.

Believers know the world is not fair- and we should be extremely thankful for it.

Because of Christ’s gracious gift, we are relieved of the massive burden of our sin. The Person who was not responsible for the world’s brokenness comes to us in lovingkindness and takes our hurts and harm upon Himself. If life was fair, the Bible (and humanity itself) would end in Genesis 3 with the first sin, but because of God’s unfair grace, we are given another opportunity to start again. This scenario of sin, hurt, grace, and hope repeats across the millennia of Scripture as well as in our own lives each day.

We should not long for fairness from God- in the light of His perfection, who could honestly claim we want what we deserve?

It is so hard to admit mistakes and confess our inability to sort out our lives in our own strength.

As we feel that we are beginning to grow in grace, the frustrations of life seem to rise in response. God’s grace is abounding, but so often we limit our own ability to share in this abundance. Rather than freely sharing in the divine bounty that is available, we focus instead on defining the terms of grace and building borders around God’s intended blessings.

We often give the impression that if God’s grace gets out of control, the lack of boundaries will cheapen our own bond with Him.

Until we come to acknowledge and appreciate God’s grace toward us, we will continue to struggle to share His love to those who need it most.

Ultimately, I must resolve to let God be God and to accept both His love for me and to appreciate His grace toward others.

We are to be ambassadors for Christ and ministers of reconciliation rather than gatekeepers of grace.

The message of the gospel is that we receive God’s grace we could never earn rather than the wage of death that our sin deserves.

Through Christ, all people are offered the opportunity to share in the riches of grace- it is not fair, but it truly is good news.

Where are the people of God?

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

O LORD, we think we have it all figured out.

We are so certain that our ways are conformed to Your ways, and yet Scripture tells us that Your ways are higher- higher than this one moment, our frantic news cycle, our own all-absorbing ambitions and power grabs. We proclaim our oneness with You even as we reject and fear and refuse to love our neighbor- whichever neighbor we can be convinced to divide from and despise today.

God, help us.

When will we ever learn, Lord?

We prefer our labels to love.

We offer our political posturing rather than words of peace.

We choose noisy crowds over nuanced conversations.

We seize the win of an instant over the wisdom that can come only forth from seasons of reflection.

Lord, help us to recognize our faults and to appreciate our failures.

We are so limited, so small, so petty, so forgetful of the glory You offer in Christ.

And yet, we declare with the those of old, “we would see Jesus.”

Where is Jesus, Lord?
Where is Your visible presence among us?
Where are those called by Your name?
Where are the people of God in a world full of anger, bitterness, and self-seeking?

You answer again in the still, small voice of grace, and remind us that, “My people are right where they always have been…”

  • Proclaiming good news.
  • Speaking truth in compassion to the straying.
  • Declaring the truth in boldness to those bewitched by power.
  • Comforting the hurting, praying with the broken, and raising the oppressed.
  • Singing out hope in the darkness of despair.
  • Setting prisoners at liberty and lifting the burdens of the downcast.
  • Admitting shortcomings, acknowledging sins, and turning from wrongs.
  • Serving the poor, healing the sick, and sitting with sorrowing.
  • Fighting for change, cleaning up messes, and making amends.
  • Listening to struggling strangers on benches, on buses, and in bars.
  • Hearing the unspoken tensions that echo each night in hurting homes, broken communities, and lonely hearts.
  • Serving all those that go unserved.
  • Noticing those who others miss.
  • Loving all those that go unloved.
  • Pointing each soul to Jesus.

When it seems that all is lost, that every knee has gladly bowed in submission to the gods of this world, that all have compromised the glory of the eternal for the gratification of the momentary- remember the gates of death and hell have not prevailed.

They have not.

They will not.

They cannot.

Hold fast and take courage for He who promised is faithful.

Come aside and rest awhile…

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

On reaching another birthday, I am realizing my physical resilience is not what it was years ago. Two decades ago, as a young minister, I could get up early, stay up late, and do a lot in between with seemingly little physical cost. While we often experience decreasing physical energy as we age, spiritual fatigue is a more subtle danger facing us in our constantly overscheduled world.

We live in an age of constant rush. Advances in technology have made daily tasks easier/faster, but rather than taking more time to rest and engage with friends and family, we have allowed cultural pressures to convince us to add even more busyness to our lives.

There never seem to be enough hours in the day or days in the week to accomplish all of our plans. We constantly bemoan our lack of time, but in reality, we are often choosing to take on more than is healthy for us- both physically and spiritually.

Those walking through addiction recovery understand that the danger of relapse dramatically increases during times of stress- hunger, loneliness, fatigue, shifting schedules, or relationship crises. Just as acute stress can pose dangers, potential pitfalls abound when we continually chase the idol of busyness.

In our constant pressing forward, we invite damage to our health, our relationships, and ultimately, our connection with God.

Blinded by busyness, we often refuse to heed the warning signs of overwork and overstimulation.

If we do not intentionally seek rest, we will unintentionally break down under the constant strain of our schedules.

This truth is not only a pillar of contemporary self-help books, the importance of rest is a principle deeply rooted in Scripture.

While murder and adultery are condemned in the Ten Commandments, weekly rest is commanded (Exodus 20:8-11). This detailed idea of Sabbath as a day of rest looks far different than most of the weekend rituals we practice today.

On the very day God’s Old Testament people were told to abstain from all work, modern believers often attempt to frantically jam more activity into the end of our week.

On Sunday when the New Testament saints gathered for longer periods worship (Acts 20:7), we often rush through our worship (or skip it entirely) in order to pack in baby showers, bridal teas, ball practices, family visits, grocery shopping, and preparations for the upcoming week.

The concept of the “Sunday scaries,” the idea that the anticipation of the coming week’s overwhelming busyness invades our day of rest and overwhelms our peace of mind, is a reality for many today.

Surrounded by our culture of hustle, we each must find ways to rest- even as we live in the midst of such external busyness. This need for grounding calm in a chaotic world is nothing new for believers.

In the midst of trauma and unrest, David strengthened himself in God (1 Sam 23:16). In the midst of persecution and physical danger, God provided sleep and food for Elijah (1 Kgs 19:4-7).

In the gospels, Jesus withdrew and prayed alone with His Father- both as a regular practice (Lk 5:16) and at especially critical moments (Lk 6:12-13). In the midst of a period of exceedingly fruitful ministry that proved overwhelming to the disciples, Jesus invited them to pull back, regroup, and rest (Mk 6:31).

If Moses, David, Elijah, Peter, and even Jesus needed times of rest and renewal, we are foolish to think we can just keep running at full speed without disastrous consequences.

Mature believers must come to recognize the self-deception we embrace whenever we trust our own strength and proceed to pile on more and more busyness wearing ourselves thin with constant activity.

Whenever human ability alone is trusted as the source of spiritual strength, failure is certain.

We must be willing to set our minds on the things of the Spirit (Rom 8:6), and then intentionally seek the rest and renewal that can only come through time spent in God’s presence.

Making Our Mark

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We live in a culture full of symbols- road signs, yard flags, car decals, corporate logos, and electronic billboards. These symbols do not tell the whole story, but they serve to market products, draw our attention, or declare our loyalties to the passing world.

We understand that such markings have meaning, and while we do not always agree on the interpretation of a certain symbol, we recognize that these visible marks serve as powerful reminders and signals to those who we encounter each day.

In this graduation season, one oft-repeated piece of advice for those receiving degrees is to go out from the classroom to make a difference in the world. “Leave your mark” is considered a fitting encouragement as we enter a new phase of life.

All of us long for significance, and we long to believe we offer something of value to the world. Teachers, salespeople, ministers, parents, celebrities- everyone wants to make a mark that will matter and endure in our rapidly changing world. Our motivations (such as profit/prestige/power/compassion) may differ widely, but the desire to make an impact is a reality.

As believers, we are leaving an impression of the world each day. Words matter- the symbols we embrace and words we offer impact our family, friends, neighbors, and even strangers for good or ill.

It is wise then to appreciate the truth that the words and actions that mark our lives affect the impressions we leave on others.

In Scripture, we read about the marking of people by the use of descriptions or nicknames. In Acts 4, we meet Barnabas whose actual name was Joseph- an extremely common name. Barnabas (meaning “son of encouragement”) was the nickname he received because he was always using his wealth, words, and relationships to build others up.

Brothers James and John were called Boaneges (meaning “sons of thunder”) seemingly related to their intense (though at times misguided) passion for God’s justice (Mk 3:17; Lk 9:54).

Besides Simon Peter (Peter itself serves as a symbolic nickname- Mt 16:17-18), Jesus called another Simon to his inner circle, “Simon called the Zealot” (Lk 6:15). This Simon was known for a life marked by his nationalism (at least in his background before following Jesus).

Is my life more marked by sharing encouragement, living with passion, or debating my politics? I am I marked as one who looks to see the good in those around me or as a person who would call down fire on my opponents if given the opportunity?

Paul writes to the church at Rome about the importance of recognizing and marking those who only seek to cause division (Rom 16:17). Their divisive activities were known and reputations well-deserved. Faithful Christians were to avoid being drawn into endless debates with such people- mark them as troublemakers and unless genuine change occurs, avoid becoming entangled in constant strife with them.

Many of us don’t mind marking those we dislike or disagree with, but Paul reminds the Philippian Christians to also mark those who walk as faithful examples to follow (Phil 3:17). If a person is walking the journey of faith well, we are to note and imitate the godly aspects of such a life (1 Cor 11:1).

Day by day, we are each making our mark on the world- what will your mark be?

As believers, may we be more intentional in realizing that no matter what else we may be, our primary role is to offer a faithful example of a life truly marked by the presence of Jesus.

Blessings of Life Together

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“The person who loves their dream of community will destroy community, but the person who loves those around them will create community.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together

Being called to live in community is one of the great invitations of the Christian faith, yet living in community also produces some of the most challenging aspects of the Christian life.

Whether we like it or not, life in community is not an add-on feature to our already-complete, neatly-packaged personal holiness- the gospel does not call us to a life of spiritual individualism and social isolation, but to a communal pilgrimage through our collective brokenness and the messiness of shared experience.

Christianity is not a solitary religion- we are called to walk this life of faith together.

I believe one of the blessings of this community relationship we are called to share is that believers are entrusted with a common vocabulary. Words that seem idealistic or even corny in the “real world” hold deep and abiding significance for those seeking to faithfully follow Jesus.

Joy, mercy, sacrifice, and commitment can be experienced by all people, but the believer recognizes God as the source of these and seemingly countless other virtues.

Broader society may acknowledge grace, compassion, and love, but the disciple of Jesus knows more than the intellectual definition of these words- he or she knows the One who personifies of these concepts as the divine Source of everything good, right, and true.

In addition to giving us an experienced terminology for understanding of the virtues found in God, the Christian community provides us with a unique bond of fellowship.

Wherever Christians go in the world, they already have a spiritual family awaiting them.

Anywhere we find disciples of Jesus, we have the ability to share an immediate intimacy that serves as a comfort and blessing. Whether we come together on the mission field, in the chapel of the local funeral home, at our children’s summer camp, or in a passing incident of daily life, Christians have a bond that is able- when faithfully applied- to transcend the outward divisions of race, gender, economics, politics, or age. The ability to pray for each other, to comfort each other, and to worship together greatly shapes the Christian experience.

We are to be the gathering of the redeemed- existing across and above life’s many external barriers.

As the song states, we share, “a common love for each other, a common gift to the Savior, a common bond holding us to the Lord, a common strength when we’re weary, a common hope for tomorrow, a common joy in the truth of God’s word.”

As we consider the implications of the Christian experience, one of the foremost blessings that we share is a sense of a mutual destiny.

In a world where we are often lulled into the comfortable complacency of daily life, we are to remind each other that our ultimate reality and ultimate hope of victory are not tied exclusively to the here and now.

While neither ignoring nor excusing the ever-present need for greater compassion and justice in our troubled world, believers are called to look beyond today’s headlines to the glory that awaits us as children of God.

By looking toward our grace-fueled, glorified future, we are empowered to live faithfully as we seek to share Christ’s love today.

This certainty of the future should dictate how we live day by day- not with our heads in the clouds ignoring suffering and strife, but with our hands active in service seeking to share the glory we have already tasted in Jesus.

Our life together as disciples of Jesus is marked with manifold blessings- a common vocabulary, a shared fellowship, and a united hope of salvation that spans geography, time, and outward differences.

Through His grace, our Father offers these gifts to each of us if we have hearts willing to receive them.

People of the Second Chance

/ Will N. / 1 Comment

I finished an intense memoir by a woman who has struggled with many of the same mental health issues I have faced over the last two decades. One key difference in our stories is that, while she faced rejection from her family, bullying by so-called friends, and came to suffer from eating disorders, self-injury, and drug abuse, I received a stream of constant support.

Even though our medical charts might show a similar chemical starting point, our stories ultimately followed two extremely different paths. I know the intensity of my own pain even with so many advantages, and her candid story reminded me that each person we encounter is struggling with something- and often hiding it quite well for a long, painful time.

Every day we witness people making bad choices or falling into destructive patterns, and we are tempted to say, “They should know better.”

While taking personal responsibility for our actions is essential, we also need to appreciate the circumstances and conditions that have led others to where they find themselves. While accountability is vital, it is naïve to think that we all are starting our lives in the same place with all of the same advantages.

I realize all too well that it is a challenge to continue to offer grace to people who repeatedly make negative choices and break our trust, but I am so thankful for the many people in my own history who chose to give me those second and third chances. I am also grateful that I believe in a God whose active, life-giving grace provides me the ability to start over when I fall short.

While thankful for the day-to-day stability in this season of my life, I hope I never become so settled or so stable or so secure that I forget what it was like to need another chance. People were willing to give them to me when I didn’t deserve them, and I know that I too need to be an agent committed to sharing that same grace.

Each day we all encounter someone we can influence or encourage- someone who stands in need of another chance.

A kind word, a caring hug, or a thoughtful compliment can be such a catalyst in a person’s life. I pray we can all look to be that influence– the provider of the second chance.

Send that text. Mail that card. Make that call.

Understanding just what the person is facing is not possible nor is it really the point– we must simply realize that we don’t have to withhold our love from people until they get it all figured out.

In fact, we come to appreciate that it is in the act of loving people and extending another chance that they often realize the courage to hang on for another day and to begin moving forward.

  • I don’t have to fully understand to love you without condition.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to serve you without selfish motives.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to pray for better days to come.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to make sure you get home safely.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to sit up with you while you cry.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to realize we are all in this together.
  • I don’t have to fully understand to be willing to offer you a second chance.

Life is hard enough as it is, but it proves to be so much harder without support.

No one needs to face this life alone- especially when we each have the ability to make a difference.

May our eyes, ears, and hearts be open to opportunities; not to fix others, but to walk beside the hurting people in our lives and to extend to them the grace others have willingly given us. In seeking to lead with grace, we embrace the renewed life we have in Christ and are strengthened to share it with others.

Search Me, O God…

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In our all-too-frequent moments of national crisis, religious leaders often declare that God’s people need to pray BIG prayers.

Prayers that will change our nation. Prayers that will revive our churches. Prayers that will halt gun violence and cure racism. We are told again and again that these are just the type of big, broad, and bold prayers that will bring our sin-sick society back to God.

While there is nothing wrong with offering such prayers for our hurting world, I believe the prayer with the most potential for lasting change is to ask God to truly show us the more personal challenges and compromises that so often rise up within our hearts and displace Him from His rightful place in our lives.

In Psalm 139:23-24, the inspired writer offers the words, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (KJV)

This prayer is both expansive and intimate, both personal and daring. In praying these words, we are not asking God to change the world in a instant or to overwhelm our lives with more material abundance- we are instead taking the difficult, yet necessary, step toward a closer walk with God by openly confessing our own limitations and admitting our vulnerability and frailties before His perfect holiness.

It is important to note what is being asked in this two-verse prayer.

When we ask God to search the heart, we are asking for one of the most intimate and intense experiences possible. We know from Scripture that the human heart without God’s presence is “deceitful about all things…desperately wicked” (Jer 17:9). In a world where evil is attributed to various combinations of environment, heredity, chance, social issues, and bad choices, believers realize that there is a spiritual component to the darkness in our world. Such darkness is not only abstractly thriving “out there” in repeated tragedies like mass shootings, ongoing heartaches like the opioid crisis, and broken social systems that promote racial/class/religious divisions, but this spiritual darkness is also present to some degree within each person who inevitably does wrong and sinful things each day.

When Paul says, “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” he truly means all of us (Rom 3:23).

When we consider the words of Psalm 139, it is essential to observe whose heart we desire God to search and expose. When my neighbor hurts me, I want to know why. When my spouse is unkind, I can dream up all sorts of reasons for the behavior. When someone cuts me off in traffic, I want him to see the error of his ways, yet the psalmist’s prayer is not focused on the hearts or actions of others.

“Search me” is an invitation for God’s eye to be trained upon my own thoughts and motivations.

Unless I am willing to acknowledge God’s right as my Creator and Sustainer to search me and to reveal my own character, I miss out a vital tool in my spiritual growth. People often say “God knows my heart,” and while that is certainly true, we need to also ask God to reveal the secrets and subtleties of our own hearts to us.

Only with such God-centered discernment can we ever see ourselves truly.

We cannot know ourselves without the faithful presence and perspective of God. When we fail to see ourselves truly, we inevitably yield to compromise and self-centeredness.  We become indulgent of our own faults and embittered toward the failings of others. Our own hearts are incapable of maintaining an honest perspective without the refining presence of God. When we allow God to truly search us, see us, and reveal our true nature to us, we will receive clarity and insight that may be hard to hear, but will serve to mature our faith.

With God’s vision, we are empowered to both admit our errors and allow ourselves a greater measure of grace.

The greatest treasures in the life of faith can only be revealed when we allow our greatest hurts to be healed by God’s love. And such healing demands both the awareness of our wrongs and the admission of our need.

Unless we open ourselves willingly to God’s refining judgment, we miss out the growth and gains that can come only from the ever-flowing provision of His grace.

God does know our hearts, and He longs to reveal them to us as well.

When this revelation of our own reality occurs and is acknowledged, genuine humility is experienced and genuine healing can begin.

Only one way?

/ Will N. / Leave a comment

When it comes to living out the grace of Christ toward others, all of us have certain challenges that we struggle to overcome. Some of us are high-tempered and prone to frustration while others are easily distracted and do not give those around us needed attention.

One of the specific issues I struggle with most is a critical spirit.

Without thinking, I tend to note mistakes of those around me and assign motives to these errors often based more on my own perceptions rather than the reality of the situation.

During the course of my day, I will hear comments in conversation or see posts online that that don’t align with my views or my values. I am often quick to correct, criticize, or mentally cancel a person’s viewpoint based on the fact I disagree with the opinion expressed. Even if the difference is a simply one of preference and devoid of any moral implications, I often still internally roll my eyes at the other person’s obvious mistake. Maybe you feel that same tension at times.

How could a seemingly reasonable person be so gullible to share that post?

Why would anyone enjoy that ridiculous show?

Who could see voting for that person as the best option?

The reality is that on many of life’s issues there is no single correct response.

Were high school experiences “the best years of my life” for all of us? Well, not for me personally, but that doesn’t mean those years weren’t the brightest for someone, and they should be able to reminisce without my disparaging comment.

Are “smaller churches always more friendly” in reality? Definitely not always- I have visited smaller congregations that were not overly warm while I have worshiped with several hundred folks when it seemed like I met each one and was invited by multiple families to eat or visit after services.

Are cities better than small towns? Perhaps you think so and could offer valid reasons, but maybe I just simply prefer the slower pace of rural life.

And on and on.

Is it necessary for me to always insert my snarky, judgmental comment on issues that truly are just matters of personal experience or private opinion?

It’s not.

Our world tells us we have the right to share our views openly on every subject, but possessing the right to speak up doesn’t mean it is always right (or helpful) to do so.

Our culture likes to provide us with a constant stream of clickbait headlines (“Top 10 American Cities for Couples with Small Dogs and a Limited Budget”) and cancel-ready drama (“He Said What!? Read It Here!), but we were never intended to constantly process so much random (and often unnecessary) information.

I believe this recent social development leads to a culture of false comparisons and cynicism. Such a barrage of stimulation and curated social media creates a false feeling of either superiority or inferiority that leads to our lashing out at others.

I need to do a better job of letting other people express their experiences without countering with my own- especially in matters that are simply differences in perspective. Our society is enraptured with outrage, and this intense and angry spirit surfaces on all sides of the political divide and across the religious and economic spectrums.

We hold our views because we value them, and we are free to express them- what we cannot do is demand conformity from others based on our own personal preferences.

I pray that I move more quickly to find common ground and to generously compliment others while at the same time being slow and thoughtful before I criticize. I pray that I realize that a critical spirit not only damages others, but it also hurts my own heart and my relationship with God. The more I move toward my way as the only way, the less likely I am to truly see the other person’s viewpoint, and more importantly, to see and to value the person who serves as the target of my unnecessary criticism as a person who bears the image of a loving, compassionate God who continues to be infinitely patient with me and my own shortcomings.

As a disciple of Jesus, I pray my tendency to criticize others will be overwhelmed by a greater desire to imitate His grace and compassion and to use my life to communicate His love to each person I encounter.