For Jarrod Bailey

At times, I overhear some pretty intense conversations in coffeeshops.

Some are romantic, some are financial, and, of course, some are religious.

With each passing year, I realize more and more that now in my late thirties, I am just starting to truly learn to listen with less judgment and more grace. At times, I hear echoes of my own old bravado and the absolute certainty so present in younger voices- a boldness that I now recognize so often hides pain, shame, and fear.

We tend to get louder when our own arguments start to cave in around us.

Assurance seldom shouts.

Now when I hear arguments I might have tried to win 20 years ago or may have rolled my eyes at ten years ago, I just seek to listen and try not to interfere too much with the process of growth in others.

My faith is central to me, but life is teaching me- mostly through its trials and my own errors- that presence and patience and the passage of time often prove far more essential to lasting clarity than my knee-jerk sharing of self-pious platitudes or one-size-fits-all certainties. Growth and maturity almost always seem to take time, experience, and some good old-fashioned failure.

I can’t endure that process for anyone else.

Neither can you.

At this point in my life, it’s becoming less and less about winning arguments or calling out every perceived act of arrogance or error, and it’s becoming more and more about showing up faithfully, listening patiently, and loving fully.

It’s that simple and it’s that hard- and, as a friend of mine would say, it’s amazing and it’s awesome.

I can do it, and you can too.

There’s always a seat at the table, and the coffee’s always on.