When it comes to living out the grace of Christ toward others, all of us have certain challenges that we struggle to overcome. Some of us are high-tempered and prone to frustration while others are easily distracted and do not give those around us needed attention.

One of the specific issues I struggle with most is a critical spirit.

Without thinking, I tend to note mistakes of those around me and assign motives to these errors often based more on my own perceptions rather than the reality of the situation.

During the course of my day, I will hear comments in conversation or see posts online that that don’t align with my views or my values. I am often quick to correct, criticize, or mentally cancel a person’s viewpoint based on the fact I disagree with the opinion expressed. Even if the difference is a simply one of preference and devoid of any moral implications, I often still internally roll my eyes at the other person’s obvious mistake. Maybe you feel that same tension at times.

How could a seemingly reasonable person be so gullible to share that post?

Why would anyone enjoy that ridiculous show?

Who could see voting for that person as the best option?

The reality is that on many of life’s issues there is no single correct response.

Were high school experiences “the best years of my life” for all of us? Well, not for me personally, but that doesn’t mean those years weren’t the brightest for someone, and they should be able to reminisce without my disparaging comment.

Are “smaller churches always more friendly” in reality? Definitely not always- I have visited smaller congregations that were not overly warm while I have worshiped with several hundred folks when it seemed like I met each one and was invited by multiple families to eat or visit after services.

Are cities better than small towns? Perhaps you think so and could offer valid reasons, but maybe I just simply prefer the slower pace of rural life.

And on and on.

Is it necessary for me to always insert my snarky, judgmental comment on issues that truly are just matters of personal experience or private opinion?

It’s not.

Our world tells us we have the right to share our views openly on every subject, but possessing the right to speak up doesn’t mean it is always right (or helpful) to do so.

Our culture likes to provide us with a constant stream of clickbait headlines (“Top 10 American Cities for Couples with Small Dogs and a Limited Budget”) and cancel-ready drama (“He Said What!? Read It Here!), but we were never intended to constantly process so much random (and often unnecessary) information.

I believe this recent social development leads to a culture of false comparisons and cynicism. Such a barrage of stimulation and curated social media creates a false feeling of either superiority or inferiority that leads to our lashing out at others.

I need to do a better job of letting other people express their experiences without countering with my own- especially in matters that are simply differences in perspective. Our society is enraptured with outrage, and this intense and angry spirit surfaces on all sides of the political divide and across the religious and economic spectrums.

We hold our views because we value them, and we are free to express them- what we cannot do is demand conformity from others based on our own personal preferences.

I pray that I move more quickly to find common ground and to generously compliment others while at the same time being slow and thoughtful before I criticize. I pray that I realize that a critical spirit not only damages others, but it also hurts my own heart and my relationship with God. The more I move toward my way as the only way, the less likely I am to truly see the other person’s viewpoint, and more importantly, to see and to value the person who serves as the target of my unnecessary criticism as a person who bears the image of a loving, compassionate God who continues to be infinitely patient with me and my own shortcomings.

As a disciple of Jesus, I pray my tendency to criticize others will be overwhelmed by a greater desire to imitate His grace and compassion and to use my life to communicate His love to each person I encounter.